How to Overcome the Fear of the First Dates for Plus-Size Girls


When it comes to dating, getting out there for the first time can be scary for anyone. But as a plus-size woman, the fear and anxiety is even greater. Nevertheless, don’t let the worries keep you from finding a meaningful connection. The secret to conquering your first date fears is having the right mindset and preparation. Let us explore some ways to beat the fear of first dates for big beautiful women.

Have Realistic Expectations


While it is impossible to eliminate the butterflies, going in with realistic expectations about you and your potential partner can help you relax and enjoy connecting with new individuals. Stay positive, focus on listening, and ask questions. Do not go to the first meet-up expecting to find “the one” or even in the second meet-up. Take it slow and focus on enjoying meeting new people. After all, the first date is just a chance to get to know your match; there is no need to feel pressured into anything more until you both feel ready.

If the chemistry is not there, that is ok. Not every date leads to a relationship, so try not to take it personally. So, whether or not it leads to another meet-up, you should be proud of putting your beautiful self out there. You are braver than you realize!

Find Partners on Specialized Platforms

One of the best ways to conquer your fear is to join a niche dating site specifically for the plus-size community, but it could be a wise step to start with reading some reviews on to get a grasp of those BBW dating platforms you are going to visit. The good thing with a BBW platform is that you will find partners who appreciate your body and share similar life experiences. Focus on sites where people share your interests and values. That is the foundation of a good match. With the right mindset and taking things at your own pace, you will repress your fears and start having fun dating. Each experience will get easier, helping you find the partner you truly deserve.

Choose Comfortable Clothes You Like

As a curvy woman, choosing an ensemble you love and fits well is essential. Remember, your match agreed to meet because they are already attracted to you as you are. Focus on the following tips, and rest assured your date will feel magnificent.

Focus On Fabrics You Find Flattering

Always wear comfortable materials such as stretchy knits, soft cotton, or breathable linens that skim your curves. Jersey wrap dresses, t-shirt dresses, and kaftans are also great options. Learn from plus-size celebrities; avoid anything too clingy, stiff, or scratchy.

Pick a Color or Print You Feel Gorgeous In

Whether it is a vibrant red, deep blue, or an eye-catching print, choose a hue or pattern that brightens your mood and boosts your confidence. When you feel confident in what you are wearing, it radiates out.

Bring a Wrap or Jacket


Even if it is warm outside, a lightweight layer provides extra coverage for your arms and torso, which many women feel edgy about. It is also a way to dress up an outfit and can be removed if no longer needed.

Wear Shoes You Can Walk Comfortably In

Whether heels, flats, or booties, pick footwear you feel balanced and at ease. Your gait and posture say a lot about your comfort, so choose shoes you glide in effortlessly. Also, if you’ve not worn a type of shoe before, don’t wear it to your first date. It would be very embarrassing for you and your partner if you fell or had to remove them because of the discomfort.

Take Steps to Improve Your Self-assurance

It is normal to feel nervous about dating, especially when you are a BBW. However, do not let self-doubt hold you back. Address unhealthy thought patterns about your looks through journaling, counseling, or online resources. Follow social media influencers who look like you and promote self-love. Focus instead on your great qualities, like your sense of humor, kindness, intelligence, and talents.

Do not go into a first meet-up assuming the worst or feeling like you have to prove your worth. Remind yourself that your size alone does not define you. If someone does not see those, they are not worth your time. While dating as a thick woman has its challenges, focusing on self-assurance and not settling for less than you deserve will help you find meaningful connections.

Practice Self-Care and Embrace Body Positivity


Making the effort to love and care for yourself will not only improve your self-esteem, but it also has the potential to alleviate some of the nervousness and apprehension associated with first dates. As a plus-size girl, it’s important to be mindful of the messages you internalize about your body, and deliberately practice body positivity. Start by eliminating negative self-talk and consciously replacing it with loving, affirming language.

Surround yourself with positive influences who appreciate and uplift you, regardless of your body size. Also, indulge in activities that make you feel good about yourself—be it reading, listening to your favorite music, practicing yoga, or treating yourself to a spa day. Remember, your worth is not defined by your physical appearance. Instead, it is determined by your character, your values, and the way you treat others. Loving yourself and exuding confidence can make you attractive and can help take off some of the pressure associated with first dates.

Final Thoughts

First meet-ups can be scary but do not put too much pressure on yourself or your potential partner, go in with an open mind and focus on having a good time. Use dating apps and websites for plus-size singles or mixed body types. Pick an outfit you feel amazing in and rock your curves. Learn to love you for who you are, your kindness, humor, talents, and spirit. Be surrounded by people who love and support you unconditionally. Once you start feeling comfortable in your skin, first-date anxiety will be a non-issue, making you a smart, fun, and vivacious woman.